Weakness in Me
by tvdunlop
Summary: Future AU. Joey and Pacey live in Seattle. One day while Joey is standing in line an old flame appears out of nowhere. It's been seven years, but will the sparks still fly? Wilder Joey fic. I own nothing. I love feed back and reviews!
1. Chance Encounter

It had been seven years ago since he walked away from her dorm door. He fully intended on seeing her in the fall, but it wasn't meant to be. He left, moved to Seattle with his girlfriend and found a good job at the University of Washington. Sometimes he still thought about her, remembering how young and innocent she had been and yet how maturely she faced whatever came her way. There wasn't anyone quite like Joey Potter and he still missed her. He and Emily had been married for a year, and the marriage was already strained.

It was a rare sunny day in the late fall when he saw her. She was standing in line for coffee and his breath caught in his throat, he hesitated and then spoke.

"Joey Potter as I live and breathe," he waited.

"Professor Wilder," her eyes widened and she was hugging him seconds later.

"How have you been?" She was stunning, even more elegant and poised than the young woman he remembered, the one who had stolen his heart.

"I've been well," there was no need for him to elaborate on his marriage issues for her.

"You're married," she had already noticed his ring, she had always been sharp, "who's the lucky woman?"

"Emily McMillam, she and I met at a party that summer after your freshmen year."

"That's why you weren't there in the fall," she realized with a thoughtful smile.

He nodded, no additional words were needed to explain, and she saw how it was.

"What brings you to the west coast Ms. Potter?" He decided calling her Ms was the safest option possible.

"Pacey is a chef in one of the main restaurants out here, Pike's Palace," she smiled, "I moved out here to be with him."

"We both followed someone," he observed, "was yours the boy from the story?"

"No," she looked down, "it's complicated, as always I guess."

"Do you want to walk down by the water?" He couldn't look away from her soulful eyes. He wanted to hear about her life.

"Sure," she agreed taking the elbow he offered her. They made their way towards the water.

"So Joey Potter, what happened between that summer and now?" He promoted her.

Joey felt like her life had taken on a surreal quality. Her morning had been so predictable and now she was here, seeing him again and talking with him made her stomach do little flip flops. Five years ago she didn't know what she wanted, and despite her life taking on a firmer direction she found herself speechless when he said her name. Giving him a hug had provided her time to grasp her composure and now she was losing it again.

"I graduated with a double major in English and psychology and a minor in biology." She glanced his way and was rewarded with a smile.

"Joey I always knew you had it in you, congratulations."

"Thanks, anyway after I graduated I moved to New York with my boyfriend and worked for a while as an editor, then I came back for a wedding to Capeside. One of our really close friends was sick and ended up passing away."

"Joey I'm so sorry," he could tell it was painful for her to talk about.

"It was really tough for a long time," she whispered, "Anyway, I broke up with my boyfriend in New York and Pacey and I ended up together. It was Jen's last wish that I act on my feelings for him. Dawson, the boy from the story and I realized that our love was so deep it wasn't meant to be lived out, we are the true definition of soulmates. Does that make any sense?" Her confused eyes searched his and he nodded.

"So, Pacey got this offer fairly recently and we moved, things have happened quickly." She paused and he wondered if she was done.

"So what are you doing now may I ask?"

"I'm working at a local high school, I'm teaching 11th grade English and I'm part of the counseling program there as well." She blushed slightly and then made eye contact with him, "I wanted to make a difference in other's lives, somewhat like what you did for me."

"Joey I did nothing, it was all you," he could hardly believe she didn't understand how talented she was.  
She seemed to be struggling, "Professor," and was cut off.

"David," he hastily said.

"David, I think you were the first person to see the person I could become. You didn't see what I was from the past, you didn't see the scared nervous freshmen I was then, you saw my future and I didn't, couldn't really even see it on my own. I gained so much confidence from the advice and guidance you gave me and through the opportunities you showed me were mine for the taking."

Throughout her explanation he remained quiet feeling his heart swell with pride and as she finished he waited for her to look up.

"Joey," he put his hand under her chin and lifted it tilting his head down and to the side forcing her to make eye contact, "you are a truly inspiring person. You walked into my class and changed my life as well."

"I'm glad you were my teacher, I'm sorry about that night," she admitted.

"It was for the best, if you had come back, who knows what we'd be saying to each other now," he assured her.

"I should go, I have class in about an hour and I need to grade some quizzes," she paused, "it was so good to see you Professor, I mean David," she corrected herself hastily seeing his raised eyebrows.

"It was good to see you too Joey Potter," he hesitated and pulled out a business card, "if you ever want to grab coffee or if you need anything, just give me a call."

"Thank you, take care," they shared a tight hug and parted going their separate ways.

Joey walked away feeling shaken. She had never expected to see him after he left that summer. She knew he had moved and she had other things on her mind. Seeing him brought up strong emotions inside her she was unprepared for. His eyes had pierced her soul, and she knew he could read her like a book. He always saw who she was, and yet she felt deep down that perhaps she had dreamed of someone like him who saw her best side and all of her potential. It never happened and she remembered fondly that which hadn't happened. Regret she figured was a waste of time, but now she wasn't so sure.

David fingered his wedding band as he processed his feelings. Joey's smile was burned into his mind and he still felt her arms around him. God, sometimes he wondered if something happened with them that night where they would be today. He shook his head and stood, it was time to get to work.


	2. Insecurities

I don't own them, just borrowing for creative uses and I also love reviews or suggestions! I'm a huge Wilder/Joey fan and was irritated that nothing else happened between them, even though I understand why it didn't. He really seemed to see her. Anyway, enjoy!

Chapter 2: Insecurities

"David?" Her voice startled him and he jumped.

"It's just me," Emily's eyes looked hurt.

"I'm sorry," and he was, sorry that his love for her wasn't how it used to be.

"I have a meeting tonight," she hesitated, "I won't be back until late."

"Okay," he turned off the stove and dished up the stir-fry.

The silence was painful as they sat down facing each other.

"How was your day?" Emily made the usual awkward small talk.

"It was fine," he omitted his encounter with Joey unwilling to have it spoiled.

She gave up and fell into the routine of eating rapidly attempting to end the uncomfortable atmosphere.

"I'll clean up," she stood, "you did all the cooking."

He felt his heart twinge with guilt and followed her to the sink, "Em, I'm sorry," he placed his hands on her shoulders and he felt her shudder. He knew she was crying and he turned her to him pulling her close.

"I'm sorry baby," he kissed her hair.

"I miss you," she mumbled into his shirt, "you've gone so far away from me."

He had no answer for that, he couldn't dispute it, but he wasn't sure if sorry would suffice. When she pulled away he wiped the tears off her cheeks and gently kissed her, "I love you," the words fell effortlessly yet sounded empty. If she felt the same she didn't react any differently.

"I'll be back late," she was gone before he could respond.

Across the city:

"Pace?" Joey dropped her purse on the couch.

"Jo, I was worried," he appeared wrapped in a towel still wet from his shower.

Joey couldn't stop the smile from creeping across her face at the handsome sight.

"I'm sorry," she placed a quick kiss on his lips, "I bumped into a professor from college and we ended up spending a while catching up."  
"Which one?" Pacey watched her unpacking the groceries.

"Professor Wilder, I don't know if you met him," she responded.

"The one you kissed?" Pacey tried desperately to keep his tone level.

"Pacey," her eyes showed the same exasperation her tone did.

"Sorry, but is he?" Pacey wondered why he was pressing the issue, but he couldn't help it.

"Yes it is, but Pace seriously, he's married and nothing ever really happened between us. It's not appropriate."  
"It wasn't appropriate then," he corrected her, "there's nothing wrong with it now."  
"Nothing except I have a boyfriend I adore and he is happily married," she fibbed slightly, in reality they hadn't talked about his marriage and in reality she'd wandered around for hours after seeing him processing those first crush butterflies that had been dimmed for so long.

"Right," Pacey seemed to let out his breath, "I'm sorry Jo, it's just…" he had no excuse.

"I love you Pacey, its okay," she gave him a real kiss this time and he pulled away grinning.

"Now go dry off, I'm making dinner," she informed him.

Pacey sauntered off and Joey turned back to the task at hand. She usually made meals because Pacey cooked all day long, but if it was a special occasion, or if they had company Pacey would show off his skills for her and whoever else was around.

The soup was leftover, and the cornbread and beans were easily to prepare and so her mind drifted back to Wilder. God he was so masculine, she hated to admit she was still attracted to him. He's married, she hated the idea of being another woman, plus she had Pacey. They had finally found each other after years of skirting around the issue. Now they had jobs and a future ahead of them, she grinned imaging all the children that would be running around. She didn't know if she could handle all those little Pacey miniatures. She hadn't gotten to ask Wilder about his kids, maybe he didn't have any. Just then her knife slipped, "ouch," she reacted.

"Jo?" Pacey was by her side in a second, "that does not look good," he pressed a cloth to it.

"It'll be fine," she sat down feeling lightheaded.

"I'm taking you to the hospital," Pacey reached for his keys.

"I just need to lie down, it's not that bad," she reassured him.

"Okay, just keep your hand up," he relented, "what happened?"

"The knife slipped," she figured that was valid.

"You're always careful Jo, I taught you to watch for these things," he meant it teasingly but Joey's nerves were more frayed than usual.

"God Pacey, I'm human, I'm allowed to be imperfect and I knew long before you came into my life to be careful with a kitchen knife," she went to stand up to storm out of the room but found herself unable to stand upright.

"Whoa, easy Jo, it's okay. I'm sorry I was just teasing," he hastened to pacify her.

"Fine," she snapped, "but it's not funny!"

"Okay Jo, I didn't mean it like that. I won't do it again," he turned back to the bean chopping while Joey silently stewed.

Late that night: David and Emily's

David sipped his bear in front of the TV, but he wasn't sure what he was watching. His mind kept going to Joey; the ball was in her court if you could even call it that. He didn't want to lose touch with her, but he was married so he couldn't exactly ask for her contact information. On the other hand, giving his out wasn't the best plan either. It was almost midnight and he wondered where Emily was. Just then the door opened.

"Emily?" he called.

"You're up," she looked surprised.

"How was your meeting?" He stood and made his way over to her.

"It was fine," she didn't meet his gaze as she took off her shoes.

"I'm heading to bed," she called over her shoulder, "are you coming up?"  
"I'll be right there," he turned off the lights and made his way up the stairs.

The shower was on and she was in the nude, "I'm just taking a rinse," she called out.

David hesitated, "can I come in?"

There was a long pause; "sure," it was clear she was taken aback.

He stepped in and gently washed her hair, "I miss you too," he finally said as the hot water fell on them.

They made slow gentle love in the shower and after they both came she had tears in her eyes.

"It's been so long," she finally said by way of explaining them in answer to his concerned penetrating look.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked in alarm.

"No not at all," she kissed him gently, "I'm just glad you came in here with me."

They climbed out and dried off before slipping under the covers into each other's arms.

"Good night," she mumbled.

"Good night," he responded but he didn't sleep for a long time.


	3. What Happens Now?

Conflicting emotions

Joey Potter was not one who got sick often. However that Tuesday she woke up completely nauseous and couldn't really get past the bathroom door.

"Jo, you're staying home," Pacey appeared.

"Yeah I think I am," she agreed crawling under the covers.

"Take care I'll be back late," he vanished leaving Joey wondering what she picked up.

Joey lay quietly in bed later that day and absently turned pages in a magazine without really reading them. She was absolutely certain that she was pregnant, but she somehow couldn't quite get her mind around the idea. Joey finally got out of bed and into some clothes to buy a test. The woman at the sales counter smiled at her briefly but didn't comment. Joey made her way back to the house and ended up in the bathroom staring at the test. This couldn't be happening, suddenly though she couldn't bear to find out. She stuffed the test in her purse and grabbed her coat where she pulled out Wilder's number. She took a deep breath and dialed it chewing on her lip as it rang.

"Hello," David didn't recognize the number.

"David, it's Joey," she sounded funny.

"Joey, are you alright," he hadn't heard from her since he'd seen her and was glad she called.

"Can we get a drink," her voice sounded shaky.

"Let's go to Millie's" he named a popular restaurant near the ocean.

"See you there," she hung up and he hastily pulled on his shoes.

"Joey," he saw her approaching and rose to kiss her cheek.

"You're pale," he noted sliding out the chair for her.  
"I'm not feeling that great," she explained placing an order for tea.

"So Joey Potter, why did you call me on such short notice?" He resisted mocking her and waited for her to look at him. She didn't.

"It's complicated," was the best she offered him.  
"How so," he tilted his head.

"I needed to get outside," she trailed off, "I just couldn't stay inside."  
"You should if you're not feeling well," he couldn't figure out quite what was going on.

"David, I think I might be pregnant," she blurted it out.

David felt a ripple of shock but maintained his composure, "well do you know?"  
She shook her head, "not for sure."  
"So get a test," he suggested.

"I did," she smiled slightly at him.  
"Ahh, well Joey Potter, why don't you come by my place and take it, then you'll know."  
"I'm not sure I want a baby," she whispered.

"Joey, why do you figure out if that's even something you need to think about first," he leaned forward and took her hand in his, "let's go."

Joey had her hand through his elbow as they were walking in silence.

"Joey, does Pacey know?" He needed to ask her.

"No, I didn't tell him what I suspected," she said finally.

They walked up his steps and he pointed her towards the bathroom.

Joey opened the test and took it, and then she had to wait.

"Joey is everything alright," he called in and the door opened.

"It's been three minutes, I can't look," she handed him the test.

"Two lines," he looked up to see tears well up in her beautiful eyes.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered, "Oh god I'm pregnant."  
He couldn't think of anything else to do but hold her and she sobbed onto his shoulder.

"I should go," she pulled away wiping her eyes.

"Joey you can stay here as long as you'd like," he said quickly.

"I need to get home, so I can figure out what to say to Pacey," she shook her head.

"Let me walk you back," he grabbed his coat.

"Okay," Joey quickly exited his house.

Joey stopped in front of her apartment and looked at him, "I'm sorry," she said finally looking ashamed.  
"Joey you don't have to apologize," he touched her cheek and hesitated, "anytime."

"It's just things get so complicated," Joey moved her eyes from his face as she struggled to maintain her composure.

"Joey, you can call me anytime," he waited for her to look at him and when she did his heart broke.

"Joey," he folded her in his arms and rubbed her back soothingly.

"I should get inside," she broke away, "Thank you David."

"See you Joey," he watched her until she was inside and then made his way home.

Later that evening:

"Joey," Pacey's voice rang through the house.

"Hey Pace," she appeared in the kitchen.

"We should go to the doctor," he said noting her pale face.

"I'm pregnant Pace," her voice cracked.

"What?" Pacey just stared at her like she'd grown two heads.

"Pacey, we're going to have a baby," she whispered.

Pacey steadied his breathing and walked over to her, "I'm really happy Jo, its okay. This is just a big shock."

She nodded and buried her head into his shoulder, "I know this isn't an ideal time, we were so careful."

Pacey didn't respond. He didn't want to confirm what she already knew, that it was too soon and not a good time and that they should have been more careful.

"Jo I came back to check on you, I actually have to be back at seven."

"Okay," she pulled away.

"I'll bring you some soup and other things for tomorrow. Are you going to be okay?" Pacey loved the woman standing in front of him, but he was desperate to clear his head.  
"Yeah," she nodded attempting to smile.

"I love you Jo," he kissed her forehead and was out of the door like a shot.

Joey sighed and sank into the couch; Pacey was putting on a good face for her. She didn't want this baby at all. She didn't want to keep him in a relationship she was beginning to doubt.

Just then her cell phone started vibrating, pulling it out she saw "David" on the caller idea.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Did you tell him," he asked finally.

"Yes," she sniffed, "he was less than enthused and he looked like he couldn't wait to get away."

"Joey I'm sure…" he tried to sooth her.

"No," she snapped, "David I know he's going to want to leave me."  
"Joey this is Pacey, remember, not some random guy who you picked up off the street."

"He's not prepared for this," Joey whispered, "I don't think I am either."  
"Joey you're not thinking about…"

"I don't know anything right now, I have to go." She was feeling trapped.

"Okay, but Joey if you need anything at all, I won't judge you, I'll just be there."

"Thanks," and she hung up wondering if she got an abortion if he would still mean what he said.

David set the table silently in his own thoughts. Enya was playing in the background and he was waiting for Emily to get home to eat. Joey's face kept appearing in his mind, so young, so confused, and so insecure. He wished for a moment that he was in her life to reassure her he would never leave. He thought about the child they would have and love together.

"David," he snapped his head up.

"Hey babe," he kissed her lips gently, "dinner's ready."

"Looks great," she sat and hesitated, "how was your day?"

"It was good, I got the tests all graded, two of my students are mad at the grade I gave them, but other than that everyone seemed pretty content."

She laughed softly, "You are a tough graded David."  
"They have to earn the A," he smiled at her.

"Okay" and she let it go.

"How was your day?" He tilted his head in her direction.  
"It was fine I grabbed lunch with the new intern, he's quite ambitious, and I think he's going places."  
"He must be if you're taking any time with him," David lightly teased and she glared at him.

"Sorry," he relented, "but you're busy and often young talent isn't that promising right away."  
She relaxed, "I know, but I think he's going to be worth the time I put in."

David stood, "I'll clean up."

He stood washing dishes listening to her upstairs walking around. Something about her final comment seemed a little off to him.


End file.
